Im talking to him, like it's going to help. yeah, ok...it kinda will, for a few hours, and then i will go back to the sameness. sad, isnt' it? (i guess that i am hypocritical.)

it is just hard to explain..but before even if i felt wonderful, or bad with him., which happened more often..it's doesn't matter. I still felt., i felt real. whether it was real pain, or happiness.

whether it was a bright dark color, or bright light color. it still was bright. u, know?

now, it is all unreal, fake and funny. hell, it's like i'm living not my life, that someone accidently switched with me. and i don't get it.

yeah, i have fun, im kinda happy, and that is what everyone sees. but it's not for me.

it's all after him.

did i really want that? i guess i did. I did what logic told me. and people advised.

i knew it was better.

but for whom?

now it's just stupid plain sameness.

запись создана: 29.09.2006 в 07:37